Mama is going back to school

Well… I’ve decided to do it! I’ve decided to put my big girl panties on and go back to school!! It’s been many, many years since I’ve tried my hand at being a student, but I’m ready for it… I think. Life always gets in the way. I know it’s an excuse, but it’s true! Work, my kid, more work, being broke and honestly just not feeling like I was ready. Or maybe I didn’t want to face the fact that as a female, with no true skill-set or talent, that school was a necessity. I guess I thought I would just get lucky and fall into a job that was going to pay me $100,00 a year. As my luck would have it… that didn’t happen.

My first try at school was right out of high school. I actually graduated with 12 hours of college credit. When I graduated years ago this wasn’t as common as it is now. (Apparently now you can have an associates degree before you get out of high school.) I took a few classes at a time and I worked at the same time. I worked waiting tables and bartending and, as some of you know, that profession will eat you up real fast. I was working a lot of nights until 2am and instead of studying I would go home and drink and stay up until 6am. I would barely make it to class. Eventually, I stopped going all together… without actually dropping the class (that looks so terrible, even now, on my transcripts). I tried again after I got pregnant. I did better this time around. I obviously couldn’t drink so I would spend my down time studying. After having my daughter I attempted to continue to go to school but it didn’t fit into my schedule. Looking back I wish I had made school a priority.

Over the years I have thought about dipping my toes back into the college pool. It just never seemed like a realistic goal. I thought that if I put in enough effort or hours at one place then I would for sure make the money I need to live a luxurious life. Well, here I am at 35 and I’m still waiting. Over the last couple months I’ve pondered what I could do to move up in life. I hate staying stagnant. Even though I am a pretty average person, I hate the thought of living the rest of my life just being mediocre. I had been feeling like a caged hamster just spinning on a wheel that wasn’t going anywhere. It was time to stop expecting life to just give me a handout. So, I decided (with the help of my supportive boyfriend) to go back to school. Well, is it really going back to school if it’s just online classes?? Either way I’m finally taking college classes and hopefully make something great of myself.

Just as a warning… this blog will be my venting outlet. I am still going to try and maintain 2 jobs, my kid, her activities, a relationship and so much more. So I am sure there will be many days of anger, frustration, melting, crying, joy, and hopefully celebration coming my way. I will be sure to keep everyone updated!!.. I must go now… My first class started today and I have to write a 4 page essay over American Colonization my Monday! Wish me Luck

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