Feminist-ish

So, I like to consider myself kind of a feminist. Not like the kind that wears vagina costumes to a parade, but the kind that thinks women are fully capable of more than we, or anyone else, gives us credit for. I’m all for women taking care of themselves and not relying on anybody else to do it for them, but I also am totally cool with a mom staying home and providing extra time and energy to her family. So I teeter on this feminist spectrum. I guess I’m feminist-ish. Anyways, sometimes I like to think that I’m bigger and stronger and more capable than I really am.

Last week my boyfriend was out of town for a couple days. Before he left he made the comment about how he should’ve mowed the yard before he left. So, of course, I tell myself I am going to surprise him and mow the yard while he was gone. I realized that I can’t complain to him about not helping inside if I don’t help outside. It looks easy enough, plus he got a new lawn mower so that would make it a breeze. Well, it wasn’t! I never took into account that we had new, beautiful, THICK grass. Trying to mow that crap was like trying to shave my legs in the middle of November. IMPOSSIBLE… Also, he makes it look so easy because he’s big and he makes the lawn mower look small. When I am leaned over trying to mow my eyes were below the top of the handle. I seriously could barely see in front of me. I realized that due to the angle of my body I was actually driving the mower into the ground instead of straight ahead. Not to mention, it was 5:00 pm in August in Texas. The sun was scorching my skin and I am deathly afraid of getting skin cancer ( another ridiculous source of anxiety). I’m out of shape, so the force I had to use to push the stupid thing took all of my lung capacity AND I’m mildly allergic to grass so my allergies were causing my eyes to swell and water… actually the water coming from my eyes was not from the allergies, but other mental ailments that cause water to form in your eyes when you are frustrated. No lie, it takes him maximum like 30 minutes to mow the front yard. The sun was literally going down by the time I finished. That’s like 3 hours!!!! WTF?!?! in that moment I promised myself I would never do anything nice for him again (even though none of this was his fault, I just had to find someone to be mad at).

Now I know some of you real feminists out there are asking “have you never mowed a yard before, because real women don’t depend on a man to do it for them.” Well the answer is yes! Yes I have… once, maybe twice, and I hated it. I don’t depend on him to do it for me, but I legitimately think he enjoys it and I’m such a good girlfriend that I don’t want to take that happiness from him… The only good part was that my wonderful daughter was outside cheering me on the whole time. She was so motivating and honestly she was the only reason I didn’t leave the front yard looking like one of those alien crop circles. I knew that in that moment I was showing her that you can overcome things with a little hard work… and a few cuss words. I finally finished! I did not weed eat and I left the mowed grass on top of the fresh grass (which I guess is bad). I swept the grass that was in the driveway into the street (sorry neighbors), but I did it! The next day he came home and was pleasantly surprised. Of course this was my opportunity to lecture him on helping inside now that I help outside (that might’ve been my other motivation to finish mowing). And although taking this into my own hands and mowing the yard made me feel strong, and accomplished… I think going forward I will be a feminist from inside the house.

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