Seeing 2020

Change is difficult. Being focused on changing yourself in order to change your external environment is even more difficult. I’ve learned that there are many things in my eternal life that I am not satisfied with. I’ve learned that I have put myself into some situations that bring out the not so good part of myself. I’ve learned that there are many things about myself I want to change. But how… how do you make yourself grow and become better? How do you know what to do if you’ve never done it before? Changing yourself from the inside takes a ton of self control. It takes biting your tongue. It takes turning your cheek. It takes reflection and self-realization. But, again, how do you get there?

This year, I am changing. I am changing for my daughter, for my family and for myself. I am cutting out toxicity internally and externally. I am getting rid of the things that bring me down and don’t lift me up. That’s people, places and things. I’ve listened to a lot of self help podcasts and audio books lately. And the one commonality of them all is in order for you to change you much get rid of negativity. If you are scrolling through social media and something makes you feel bad about your self or like less of YOU then delete it. If you are around people that make you feel like less of YOU then get rid of those people. In order to clean up your life you must get rid of things. Just like cleaning your house. If you want your house to be nice and clean you must de-clutter it first.

But I have realized that it’s not always other people’s fault that I can exude negativity. I tend to concern myself with things that are completely irrelevant to me. I worry about other people’s flaws or what they are doing wrong rather than focusing on mine. I’m not even sure why I do that. Is it concern? Is it jealousy? Or is it just because I have too much empty space in my brain and I choose to fill it with garbage rather than growth? I need to fill my brain with only good things. I need to be more conscious of what is going in my head. I need to focus on being a better me. I need to be someone that uplifts myself and cheers myself on. I need to be the mother that shows greatness to their daughter. I need to be the “wife” that shows unconditional love to their significant other. I need to show more compassion and graciousness. I need to learn to shut my mouth and open my ears. But where to begin?

How do you learn to change you if you’ve been doing you for so long? Baby steps I guess. Focusing on myself instead of others is the first step. The less I know about other people’s lives the better. That means cutting some people out for a bit. Just like a drug. In order to quit you have to get it completely away from your life. Spending more time doing things that fill my soul with joy is something I will focus on this year. I want to be big! Financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And the only way to do that is to grow. In order to grow physically you would eat healthy and workout. I need to surround myself with health and workout my mind and spirit. I’m hoping for big, scary changes this year!

If you have any more tidbits on how I can do these things such as books, quotes, websites, or even conferences please send them my way! I’m ready to commit to seeing 2020 this year!

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